adventures in bible study

So I preached at a Filipino church this Sunday; it's been a few years since my last sermon, if I remember correctly. I was to preach on The New Heaven and The New Earth in Revelation 21-22, which is of course a very safe and easy topic about which to preach. So, I borrowed a couple of commentaries from a pastor here and racked my brain to remember everything I learned in my Revelation class in undergrad with Dr. Allen. (Basically I remembered the importance of numbers, and yes, a good portion of my message was all about the number twelve.) I would've relied on my fancy seminary learnin', but my Acts-Revelation class with a professor who shall remain nameless was the worst class I had at Fuller, if not the worst class I've had since high school, which is saying something since I took a Malaysian Language class that was almost entirely in Malay (which I don't speak) while studying abroad.

Anyway... I worked on my words for Sunday over most of this last week, spending hours at a nearby coffee shop or the local Tim Horton's composing the message. In the end it turned out to be much more academic than I like, but with all the symbolism and imagery it was hard not to spend a lot of time explaining.

Now, when it comes to public speaking, I am a meticulous planner. I like to know all of the details about my venue and my purpose for speaking: to whom am I speaking? how long should I speak? should it be more serious, more light, more intellectual, more emotional? do I need a PowerPoint, and if so how detailed should it be? etc. etc. etc.

I didn't know most of those details going into this sermon. I knew that it was a church made up mostly of older Filipinos who speak English, that they had been going through the book of Revelation, and that a PowerPoint would help. I also know from previous experience and observation this summer that Filipinos, while being very lively and loud people at social interactions, tend to sit silent and stone-faced while listening to someone talk, so don't rely too much on audience feedback as a gauge.

So I was nervous going in, but I always get nervous before speaking, with a tendency to freak out directly before I speak and then calm down once I actually start talking. That Sunday morning we arrived at the school where the church meets about half an hour before Sunday School, which starts an hour or so before the church service. (Remember that Filipinos are typically event-driven, so actual starting times remain flexible.) And as I glanced over my sermon text around 9:40, the head pastor of the church approached me and mentioned casually, "You know that Filipinos like to do things at the spur of the moment, right?"

I froze. "Um, yes..." I answered tentatively.

"Well, could you say something about church, about how important it is to come together with others for worship?" he asked.

I relaxed. In my sermon I planned to talk about how church today should be a reflection of the New Jerusalem to come, so this idea should still flow with that added in. "Sure, you want me to add it into the sermon?" I replied.

"Oh, no," he laughed. "We need someone to lead the adult Sunday School. It starts at 10."

I stared back in silent response. "Um... how, how long?" I stammered.

"Oh, forty-five minutes, half an hour," he answered, smiling. "You can do that, right?"

At this point my eyes had probably grown to be the size of small plates. I said nothing, merely standing with my mouth agape. He clapped his hand on my shoulder. "You'll be fine. Talk about Hebrews 6 or something," he offered. He then walked away.

I wasn't exactly nervous at this point, I was more just shocked. I now had about twenty minutes to find a Bible passage, prepare some talking points, and think of something to say for forty-five minutes to a group of Filipinos mostly twenty or so years older than me who probably wouldn't be too keen on speaking up in a group. This is basically a culmination of every fear I have about speaking or teaching that had rolled into a tidy package and dropped squarely on my head.

So I looked up Hebrews 6, tried in vain to come up with a handful of profound points, and Sunday School got off to a start around 10:15, just me and fifteen or so people. I'm not going to go into the details of what happened in the lesson for it's just too painful. Suffice it to say that out of thirty minutes of the lesson, at least fifteen minutes consisted of awkward silence. It was without a doubt the most humiliating and humbling small group experience I have ever had.

After this fiasco I gave my sermon and it was OK, not my most wonderful effort but not bad either. The flexibility of the timeframe for the sermon actually proved to make me less nervous, as I felt more free to take my time, make my points, and move on as necessary. Usually I tend to rush through my sermons, so this was a welcome change. I also played a hymn on the violin, so I guess I had triple duty. Regardless how I personally did, the people were very gracious and supportive. After telling some people here about my experience, several of them gave me a very easy and welcome piece of advice: "Next time, just say 'no.'" I wasn't sure if this was actually an option, but now that I know that choice exists, I will probably be exercising it in the future.

I don't preach anywhere this Sunday (at least I haven't been recruited yet), so my next speaking engagement will likely be at a church retreat for Church in the One the following weekend. In the end, sometimes you just have to embrace the awkwardness and roll with it.