words that strangers put in our mouths

I was perusing a book store in San Pedro when I saw a rack of greeting cards. This wasn't anything unusual, so I gave it little thought until I noticed this one:

I thought for sure that I was a joke. I opened it up and the inside message simply said, "You're in my thoughts and prayers." Completely straight. I was baffled.

I then began looking through the other cards on the rack.

OUTSIDE:

INSIDE:

"It won't be the same this year, or next year, or the one after that because you aren't here."

OUTSIDE:

INSIDE:

"Birthdays come and birthdays go. But you're still not here. I miss you."

And so on. It was pretty depressing.

Turns out the cards are made by a company called Three Squares Greetings, "For Those Who Can't Come Home."™ At first I thought the whole concept was ridiculous. If I had friend that got arrested, I don't think I would send him or her a greeting card about it.

As I reflected, however, I appreciated the concept more. There's something artificial about greeting cards in general. There's a scene in the film (500) Days of Summer where Tom, our protagonist who works at a greeting card company, has a meltdown at his job. He's mostly venting in the wake of a brutal break-up, but in the process he delivers a scathing critique of the card industry in general: "Why do people buy these things? It's not because people want to say how they feel, people buy cards because they can't say how they feel or they're afraid to. We provide the service that lets them off the hook. [...] People should be able to say how they feel, how they really feel, not, you know, some words that some stranger put in their mouth."

It was interesting to flip through the cards for inmates because they were pretty honest - disappointment, guilt, regret, hope, stubborn devotion, worry, and so on printed out and ready to be sealed in envelopes. Families and friends of those in prison must often feel like they have no allies, like no one else could understand or empathize with their position. These cards prove otherwise.

So, I'm not totally convinced that a card saying "Sorry about the arrest" is the best way to show concern for an incarcerated loved one, but then a card saying "Happy Birthday" or "Thank You" can be a cop-out just as easily. You can't blame Three Square Greetings for trying to meet a need.

And at any rate, these cards make a lot more sense than the cards for pets I once saw at Vroman's, so that's something else to consider, I suppose.